Many people wonder how one could tell if they are being called by God to serve as a priest, religious brother or sister. Here are a couple of things to consider as possible signs of a religious vocation:

• Love of God that manifests itself in a desire to give one's life in service to God's People 

• Love of the Church, and its rich tradition

• Love of the Sacraments, and a desire to celebrate the sacraments with the community

• Love of God's Word and a desire to proclaim the Gospel to God's people 

• Desire to model holiness as Christ's representative among the People of God

• A heart that can listen to others and reach out in healing 

• Desire to deepen prayer and relationship with God

• Willingness to live simply 

• Ability to be happy without the intimate companionship of a wife and family

• Ability to relate with a variety of people, to be happy alone or in a group

• Desire to love expansively rather than needing an intimate relationship with one person

• Joy in serving others in any outreach or parish involvement 

• Generosity 

• Ability to listen to others and accept direction when needed 

• Desire to grow in union with God through prayer and service of the needy

Steps to Take

If you are thinking about priesthood or religious life, these are some of the things you should do:

Prayer - always pray, but not just with words, take the time to listen. Listen that God can make His will known. Know that you are not alone in this process, there are others who are contemplating a similar path.

Find a Spiritual Director, someone who can assist you in your prayer life and discernment. A spiritual director can be a priest or religious. Consider asking someone from your parish, or asking at a local retreat house. It is possible to interview the person before actually asking them to be your director. Be sure you are comfortable with this person first.

Be in contact with the Vocations Office. We are here to help you and to continue the dialogue or answer any questions you might have. It is also possible to approach any priest or religious you may know, just to ask questions or to become more familiar with their life.

Be active in your parish, your community, or some sort of service opportunity. This will help you to see if you are able to do the work of ministry and be comfortable in this life. It will also give you some sense of what the life of a priest or religious might be like.

Join a discernment group. Our Diocese has a group for men ages 16-45 who wish to discern the Lord's calling in a serious way with others.

Visit a seminary or Religious Community. A visit could be planned with the help of the Vocations Director.

Speak with the Vocations Director of a diocese of Religious Community. They can help you with the discernment process and answer any questions you may have regarding the life of a priest or religious, the formation program, the application process, etc.

Every story is different and yet every story is very much the same. The men and women who have said "Yes" to serve God as priests and religious all came to this life in a different way, and yet in each case there was faith, there was a relationship with God and a strong desire to serve Him. Hopefully these reflections help you to know where a vocation comes from, and to see that God is also inviting you to say "Yes!" to a life as a priest, sister or brother.
 

Msgr. John Torney
Ordained May 3, 1939

I was born on West 34th Street in New York City, and attended St. Michael’s Church, where I was an altar boy. At that time, the life of a neighborhood – social, educational, religious – revolved around the parish.

I went to Xavier High School and there the seeds for priesthood were planted, partly because there were many clerics, novices and aspirants at the school. Also, the chaplain there encouraged me personally in spiritual things and challenged us all to attend Mass before classes began. I’m Irish, and so I felt I had to accept the challenge.

Vocations often begin in the home, and I would attribute mine largely to the example of my parents and sister. Margaret, who was three years older than I, lived into her 100's and was a special education teacher. I attended St. Mary’s Seminary in Baltimore, and was ordained in 1939. The priest I was first assigned to wasn’t used to having an assistant, so he sent me home every Monday until it was time to hear confessions on Saturday. I would go to the nearby parish and work with the youth, getting them involved through baseball and basketball games.

After the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941, I joined the Army as a chaplain. I worked with a hospital unit, but also spent a lot of time saying Mass, hearing confessions and being available for truck drivers.

In addition to serving in parishes when the war ended, I was a canon law clerk in the tribunal and chaplain for Mother Teresa’s Servants of Charity house, though they were in the Archdiocese of Newark. I still stay in touch with them.

One of my favorite things as a priest was helping people return to the church through the Sacrament of Reconciliation. When I celebrated this sacrament, I felt truly like an instrument of God’s grace.

Once I retired in 1985, Bishop Hughes asked me to help with the project of building a residence for retired priests. That became Maria Regina Home in Somerset. I was its first resident in 1989. Now there are 11 of us, plus 2 active priests. We eat meals together three times a day and reminisce a lot. We take turns saying Mass for the Sisters of St. Francis of the Martyr St. George, who live nearby, and they make our breakfast, do our laundry, take us to the doctor and generally watch over us.

I use a walker now so that I won’t fall and break my hip. That would be the end of me, although I am in relatively good health.

I have never been afraid of dying, though I think I better do more penance before I meet my Maker. I will probably have to spend some time in purgatory, but we have a merciful God who made us and knows us and who was a man himself.

These days I have plenty of time to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. It wasn’t always that way. There were meetings, meetings, meetings and lots of phone calls, so it wasn’t always easy to get in my prayer times. And since I like sports, there was always the temptation of a baseball game on the radio or TV at night. I had to be disciplined to say my Divine Office, have quiet time and other prayer time. That’s important because a priest needs to continue to grow in the love of God.

Being a priest was, and still is, a great life. There is much more joy in giving than receiving.

Msgr. William Benwell
Ordained May 31, 1980

My parents approached both the church and priests positively and naturally, so as I got older the possibility of becoming a priest was an option just like any other vocation. For instance, one of my earliest memories is driving with my family to the old wooden church where I grew up in Middlesex, for the blessing of throats service. It was a normal part of life, as was going to Mass on Sunday or Ash Wednesday liturgy.

In seventh grade, the influence of a young, popular, outgoing priest got me thinking about the priesthood, but it was during my middle years of college that the idea resurfaced in a serious way. One day on the way to my summer job, I drove past the rectory and saw our pastor standing outside. For some reason – I call it a graced moment – seeing him got me thinking about the priesthood again. While finishing my history degree at Rutgers University, I began going to diocesan discernment meetings. Like many people, I wanted to make a contribution to society, to make a difference, and figured I could do that as a priest. I entered Immaculate Conception Seminary and was ordained in 1980. I have had a number of assignments: parish priest, secretary to then-bishop Theodore McCarrick, student, pastor, canon lawyer serving in the tribunal and the chancery. Since 2003, I have served the diocese full-time as vicar general and moderator of the curia. At the same time, I still have my hand in parish life. On the weekends, I help at St. Bartholomew’s Parish in East Brunswick, and most mornings I celebrate the 7 a.m. Mass at the cathedral. I also consider myself the associate pastor to the bishop at the building we work in.

I love the ritual of the Catholic liturgy and the sacraments. Because celebrating Mass is a means of touching the sacred, I try to be serious in my preparation so that it never gets old. I also enjoy teaching and preaching about Scripture and bringing the ministry of justice to the people through canon law.

I believe there is no great secret to being a good priest. The ministry of presence can’t be overestimated. You don’t need to have all the answers to every question and problem. If you are there for people, listen to them, care for them and let them know that their concerns are your concerns, you will be successful. Be yourself; don’t put on airs. Being the representative of God, a conduit to the sacred, is invaluable. That’s pretty much what I tell men who have an interest in becoming priests. It’s not about you, it’s about service. If you look to satisfy your own needs, you won’t be happy or fulfilled. The highlights of my priesthood have been those times when I have helped bring God to people at difficult or defining moments in their lives and helped them experience the divine.

Studying two years in Ottawa at St. Paul Seminary was a personal highlight, being with an international student body and experiencing the worldwide church. I also treasure meeting Pope John Paul II twice and meeting a number of other fascinating, inspiring people, both religious and secular, in the course of my varied ministry.

As my priesthood goes on, I continue to learn its deeper meaning – that it’s about others, not about me. God has blessed me by calling me to be a priest and I have seen how my life impacts others. I always knew God is good and God is love, but years of experience have made that more clear.

Fr. John Barbella
Ordained May 30, 1987

As I was growing up, the thought of becoming a priest kept coming back to me. Although I was raised in a good Catholic family, we were not overly involved in parish activities. I attended public schools, but when I thought about what I wanted to do with my life, the priesthood kept calling me.

I was first attracted to the priesthood when I was 7 or 8 because I was impressed by the priests in my parish and fascinated with the Eucharist. My sixth-grade CCD teacher was a great priest who taught me a lot about religion, and in high school, the idea of a vocation came back with a vengeance.

After getting my degree in history at Montclair State College, I went to Mount St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, Md. The seminary was the first school I ever really liked! I was ordained at the age of 25 in 1987. I am now pastor of St. Philip & St. James in Phillipsburg, NJ. I love everything about being a parish priest, well ... everything except meetings and planning sessions. I like all types of people, and look forward to being with them at parish social events such as spaghetti dinners and Communion breakfasts. I also enjoy devotional events, especially those my parish holds.

Teaching the faith is important to me; I teach CCD and teach once a week at the local Catholic school. I also lead a series of adult Bible classes throughout the year. I like visiting the sick in the hospital, and the homebound. They are an integral part of the parish, and I want them to know they’re not forgotten. I’m honored to serve people at life’s special moments, such as weddings, funerals and baptisms. Best of all, of course, and the high point of the day, is offering Mass. For renewal and enjoyment, I spend time with family and friends. Also, I have loved trains since I watched them as a boy with my dad, and I still like watching them, taking pictures of them and going on vacation to places where there are lots of trains. I even have a model railroad in the rectory. Baseball, too, is a love. I root for the New York Yankees and their farm team, the Trenton Thunder.

When I talk to anyone considering the priesthood, I tell them there is only one good reason to pursue it – if God is calling you. Unless you are convinced that the priesthood is what God wants you to do, I don’t know what will sustain you during the difficult times. But if the thought keeps coming back, you owe it to God and yourself to go to seminary and try it, or else you will never know. The question that every Catholic man has to ask himself is this: “What does God want me to do with my life?” Do you pick up religion quickly like some pick up math or science? Are you intrigued by the stories and principles of Catholicism? Do you long to help other people find God? Answering “yes” to some of these questions might be an indication of a calling.

Msgr. Joseph Celano
Ordained May 30, 1987

I see the role of a priest as helping others get to heaven. I have a number of functions to carry out, but they are all meant to bear witness to Jesus Christ and bring people into a loving relationship with him. That’s why I love being a priest. I have found the passion that drives me. Anyone willing to commit to the life of a priest will find it to be a great life.

I tell men considering a vocation what I experienced growing up. I saw priests who lived lives of meaning and significance. They were warm, loving, giving men, so I felt no fear or intimidation around them. That’s why I began thinking about the priesthood as a small boy.

As I got older, I could see the possibility of doing other things, but there was always a gnawing inside, a gentle tug that kept bringing me back to the priesthood. I interpret that as a calling from God – the main reason I am a priest.

After high school, I worked and went to community college for two years. I used that as a time for discernment and joined a group of men in the diocese who were also discerning. I saw then that I wasn’t isolated and was not the only one experiencing a call. Those two years also showed me the importance of developing spiritually, that we all are called to faithful discipleship regardless of vocation.

I received a degree in human resources from the University of Scranton, then attended Mount St. Mary’s in Emmitsburg, Md., and was ordained in 1987. I have been a parish priest ever since, except for six years at Rutgers University. There is a great opportunity on campuses to help students understand that their faith should be a living part of who they are.

I enjoy being a pastor, being responsible for a community. It’s fun watching kids grow up from baptism to confirmation; getting to know a family and allowing them to know me. On Sunday morning I look out at a group of people whom I know and wonder sometimes, with what they are going through, how they even got out of bed that morning. Knowing what they face enables me to find the right things to say in my homily. During confession and anointing of the sick, I feel most a priest. Being with somebody when they unburden their sins is humbling. I feel the nearness of God. I also feel this nearness with a person who is dying, and their family. They open their lives to you like they would to no other. Amidst suffering there is nothing I can say or do to take the pain away. But when the priest is there, they know they aren’t alone. The priest is a sign that the church cares, and that makes a difference in their lives.

Likewise, a priest is there throughout the whole spectrum of life for people, and we are there on behalf of Jesus Christ. There are plenty of emotions throughout the day in the life of a priest. I believe a priest has to be a man of prayer in order to handle the emotional ups and downs of his life; his priesthood would be diminished without this essential element. I think that a well-lived priesthood will inspire other men to become priests. I also talk regularly about how I love being a priest, and encourage others to consider it. Men want to know that this is not a life of mediocrity.

Is Jesus Calling You to be a Catholic Priest?

"The call to the priesthood is a great mystery, which comes directly from our Lord and is instilled in the heart of the one called. Saint Peter, the great apostle and first pope, was certainly surprised at his calling. He felt his unworthiness and fear, which were expressed in the words, 'Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.' Initially, he desired to run from his vocation. Jesus needed to reassure the frightened Peter of his desire to follow Him and so exhorted Peter, 'Be not afraid!' In the midst of his fear, Peter must have received great consolation with these words, for we know he dropped everything to walk with Jesus. The call to the priesthood today is no different..."The words in this book are the truth! This book is a great guide for men discerning a call to the priesthood, especially through prayer.

Te Esta Llamand Jesus Para ser una Sacerdote Catolico?

"El llamado al sacerdocio es un gran misterio que viene directamente del Senor al corazon de quien El ha llamado. San Pedro, el gran apostol y primer Papa, estaba sorprendido de su llamado. El se sintio indigno y con temor, y lo expreso con estas palabras, 'Apartate de mi, Senor, porque soy un pecador.' Al inicio el deseaba abandonar su vocacion. Jesucristo necesitaba reafirmar al temeroso Pedro de su deseo de seguirlo y por ello lo exhorto diciendo 'No temas!' En meido de la dua, Pedro seguramente recibio gran consuelo al escuchar estas palabras pues sabemos que el lo dejo todo para cominar con Jesus. Pero Christo continua llamado a hombres para el sacerdocio a traves de experiencias de consolacion y deseo ardiente... Esta guia -Te esta llamando Jesus para ser un sacerdote catolico?- es para ayudar a cualquier hombre a responder a esta pregunta: 'Como sabe uno la voluntad de Dios y como seguirla?' como San Pedro, cada hombre que esta discerniendo el llamado al sacerdocio tendra que aclarar entre tantas ideas y emociones contrastantes para poder saber la voluntad de Dios."

Priest Vocation Stories

Published by FAITH Publishing for the Diocese of Metuchen, it contains a brief reflection on eight of our own priests and their "call" and ministry.

Located in Highland Park, New Jersey, the House of Discernment is designed for men who are working or attending college and thinking about the possibility of priesthood but are having difficulty making the decision to begin seminary. It is also for those who would benefit from some time living in a rectory with priests.

This program offers individuals a live-in experience attached to a parish and the daily assistance of priests to help them discern if the life of a priest is where God is calling them. The structure of the program is designed around the individual’s current work or school schedule and includes daily Mass, prayer, meals and one-on-one discernment meetings, at a minimum.

Discerning the Diocesan Priesthood
Simply put, discernment is the process by which a man takes the time to consider how God is calling him to serve in his life; be that through the priesthood, marriage, religious brother, or by continuing in the single life. No two individuals are alike; therefore, discernment is unique for everyone.

First and foremost, since all vocations are from God, it is important to bring this process into your daily prayer. Ask God to enlighten you to hear His divine will for you. God, who created you with a vocation, loves you and He will not fail to answer your prayers for His guidance.

Accommodations
Each bedroom in the discernment house has either a shared or private bathroom. The home also includes a chapel, library, kitchen, dining room, community room, laundry room and meeting room.

Goals
I. Promote vocational awareness 

II. Assist men in their discernment of God’s will concerning the priesthood 

III. Create a comfortable living environment for resident discerners

IV. Provide a place for men in discernment to have contact with the vocation director on a regular basis in order to discuss their vocations